New Year’s Resolutions

Susan says…


It’s New Year’s Day. The beginning of 2009. I am watching Food Network (I know you aren’t surprised) and they are advertising upcoming episodes which all have a healthy theme – even Paula is airing a light & healthy episode soon. The Wal Mart ads I’ve seen today tell me that I can be “healthy and pay less at Wal Mart”.  Even Ron has re-ignited his exercise regimen and skipped his usual bag of chips and pint of french onion dip.

I’ll admit, I bought a ticket for this bandwagon, too.

Here are my culinary goals for 2009:

  1. Amp up the low-carb diet. I got a little sloppy during the holidays, but with little increase to the number on my scales. whew! I was lucky. But I wanted to lose another 10 pounds prior to the holiday season and I plan to make that happen before my birthday at the beginning of March.
  2. Sub-goal of #1, above: pester the management at the Teays Valley Kroger to order Hood’s Calorie Countdown milk for me. Formerly known as “Carb Countdown”, this is a delicious milk product high in protein and low in carbs and calories. Even my little girls were drinking it. I miss milk. If anyone out there knows where I can buy this locally, please comment or email the blog.
  3. Begin organizing my recipes on The Living Cookbook software I have been experimenting with. Sure it has a goofy name, but it produces professional-looking printed recipes, provides nutritional breakdowns, has an inventory feature, and enables the user to compile cookbooks from the database. As an accountant, the inventory feature makes me hot.
  4. Sub-goal of #3, above: produce a cookbook of some of my favorite recipes, complete with photos of the dishes, and give it as a gift to family & friends for Christmas 2009.
  5. Successfully grow my own herbs.  What a pleasure it would be to have my favorite herbs right at my own home, readily available and without the high price tag. You have heard of people ahving a green thumb? Well mine is brown, brittle and all shriveled up. The only plants I can grow are hardy, drought-resistant outdoor plants. If they rely on me to water them…the results aren’t pretty. Maybe Ron will help me out on this one.
  6. Host a fabulous fancy dinner party. Have you ever seen the British Comedy “Keeping Up Appearances”? The leading lady character, Hyacinth Bucket (she pronounces it “bouquet” for obvious snobby reasons) frequently hosts “candlelight suppers”. I always think of that when I plan a dinner party. 
  7. Find some way for my kids to like fish. We’ve pushed dozens of different fish dishes on them and they have hated them all: salmon with fennel and dill, fish tacos, baked tilapia, deep-fried catfish, even fish sticks. Nothing appealed to them. Maybe I can convince them that fish isn’t so bad in 2009.
  8. Visit (and subsequently review) many of the restaurants on the “Future Reviews” list and discover some new places during my upcoming travels. We are already planning a trip back to Folly Beach, SC which means Charleston, SC is on my culinary radar. One place in particular that is in my sights is Magnolia’s. To whet my appetite, Ron gave me the cookbook by the same name filled with low-country dishes created by Chef Donald Barickman.

I must swallow some more pharmaceuticals now.  Champagne gives me a killer headache.

Ron’s Resolution

Every year it seems I have all these Dreams of Grandeur about how my upcoming year will go…. they all involve great ideas and goals.  But after about two months or so, sometimes sooner, sometimes later, I realize that key thing about “goals”. 

KEY THING ABOUT GOALS ~ Goals Must Be Obtainable

I’m sure I’m not the only one that sets unreachable goals for themselves..  I mean.. shit.. just look at what Susan set for herself above (getting the kids to eat fish?? yeah right, an obtainable goal would be “getting the kids to like fish by getting them a goldfish”).  So like most people, my Resolution(s) typically end in failure.  OH YES… sometimes I get close…. sometimes not so close.. on some of them.. well hell I must have been drunk on champagne when I made them, because I will often hear from Susan:  “I thought you said you weren’t going to do that anymore” or some other similiar statement.  SO YOU MUST HAVE OBTAINABLE GOALS.

But screw that, obtainable goals are no fun and why not simply set yourself up for failure??  No one wants to be successful. 

Personally, I don’t really have any Resolutions that are Culinary and fit for this site.  Susan just wanted me to write something… Plus I’m in the doghouse right now and this may help me inch out of it (or put me deeper in it). 

So Resulotion #1 ~ get out of doghouse.  (Remember Obtainable, redheads can hold a grudge)

Resolution #2 ~ Spend no more than $10 per week on lunch.  This is never obtainable for me, and I do not go out for lunch as near as often as my fellow Fork You’ers.  If Demo thought I had no Culinary Credibility before, I can’t imagine what he (or is it a she?)  would think of me after seeing the stuff I will eat for lunch at work.  Chef Boy R Dee …  I love the Lasagna and mixing it with Cheez-Its…  Don’t ask..   LeftOvers.. I bet I take more leftovers to work than anyone.  Yet I find that I can spend $20 – $30 eating out in some form or another a week for lunch.  Well that shit is going to stop No More Than $10/week.   So I may have to skip a week and save up to eat at The Tricky Fish.  (Plus that will help my diet plan with all their small portions)

Resolution #3 ~ see, I don’t have all the Culinary goals that fit this site, I could say lose weight, do enough mountian bike races to qualify for the 2009 Point Series, cut up my credit cards and get out of debt, drink more less beer (see the “more” would be obtainable, the “less” is a struggle), get six pack abs, mow the yard in a speedo,  etc etc… so I won’t bore you with all the non relative ones.. But I will leave you with one last one.  To Review More Restaurants and show that I have even less Culinary Credibility than humanly possible.

Happy New Year.

HEY….  SUSAN??!!??…..  MY WATER BOWL IS EMPTY… CAN YOU FILL IT UP…… PLEASE???…… mabye fill it up with a beer???


7 responses to “New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Ron is obviously insane in the membrane.

    $10 per WEEK?

    My resolution should be to spend no more than $10 per LUNCH.

    This is why we never have lunch together. And if we do, he expects me to pay for him.

  2. What Misty is not telling our readers is that she resolves to carry fat free Kraft Italian salad dressing and lite mayo packets around in her purse.

  3. demosthenes.or.locke

    Chef Boyardee lasagna with cheezits?

    ****HEAD EXPLODE************

  4. I had some success last night with fish and my children. I made a french-style tilapia with leeks, squash, vermouth and herbes de provence. Hope ate it all with minor complaining, mostly to earn a Weight Watchers ice cream drumstick for dessert. (Yes, I deny my children sweets to the point they beg for diet sweets.) Hannah wouldn’t even taste the fish. I am eating hers for breakfast today.

  5. Susan, good luck with your culinary goals for 2009 … riding on the resolution bandwagon is often a bumpy ride, hope you enjoy the view and the journey.

    Good luck with your cookbook. I’m working on one myself. Though I’m not familiar with “The Living Cookbook” software. Can you tell me more about it?

    BTW, Ron, if you figure out how to get out of the dog house, I know some guys who’d pay good money for that information, myself included. Best of luck to you.

  6. Bill-

    If you google for Living Cookbook, you’ll get more info and an offer to try it free for 30 days. I tried it and liked it. We’ll see how it goes.

    By clicking on the doghouse link in Ron’s post, JC Penney would be more than happy to tell you how to get out of the doghouse – it’s a very cute marketing campaign.

    BTW, Ron has not employed any of their suggestions. Yet.

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