Finally ~ The Cafe’ – River’s Edge Cafe

Just titilating I know

Just titilating I know

Ron Says…

Beer, Pizza, Sandwiches, Beer, Sportscenter, Cleavage, Beer, HiDef TV’s, Beer, 

All for $28.40 cents.

That’s right, spoiler alert.. just happened… we ate plenty of food and spirits for less than $30 (after taxes) and still had leftovers.

Ahhh, I strike my best Al Bundy pose – picture one hand down my pants splayed out on the couch and hand on the remote.  D I G E S T I N G

This is the meal I’ve been waiting for.   Maybe it’s the college football on TV, the wings that were being eaten next to me.  Or just maybe, it’s the relief of not eating the overpriced artsy fartsy meals that the establishment and the “drive-byes” tell you that you should like.

Is this going to win any awards?  Probably not, but if you’re hungry, and thirsty, I’ll put this up against anyplace.  

Long known for their sandwiches, the Cafe’ specializes in bar food.  No no Ceviche here or any of that other crap.  It’s what Totre’s wants to be, it’s what Virginia Beach wish they had, and it’s what Murads once was.  Great food, great price… period.

No there’s no chef here, nothing that’s going to win an award, none of that stuff that gets all the other Fork You’er’s panties in a wad..  simple down to earth bar food.


ie.  A FROSTY PITCHER OF MICHELOB ULTRA HOW MUCH DO YOU GUESS?  $14 dollars?  (no idiot, it’s not VA Beach or Disney Wor  Epcot Center)  $10 ~ nope, $8 no, $7 no again.  SIX FREAKING DOLLARS for four glasses of frothy cold draft beer.  

My 12″ pizza was $10.95 for the two toppings, plus I added two more toppings for a buck.  bringing it to $11.95.   That’s 12 inches that was about an inch and a half thick.  Do you want me to calculate the volume in that?   Remember, even Graziano’s has size but no gerth.   😉 (ok Graziano’s is a little better tasting, but for the price this is not bad, heck for the price this is damned good)

Susan got a sandwich, and Cafe Chips (homemade potato chips)  they were good, again not great.   But good.

For me this place was a BEACON of BAR FOOD.   Shit I told Susan that if the pitcher is less than $7 I was going to give it seven forks.   For me it deserves that.  

I’ve eaten burgers here several times, they’re great.  Their fries are great, everything that I’ve had here has been GOOD.  I’ve had no bad thing here. 

If I want something that’s good, I can come here, there may not be anything that actually calls me here but there’s nothing that drives me away either. You can bring your kids here, or you can bring your stripper girlfriend here.  It’s the type of place that Applebee’s thinks it is.  You can hang out here.

I’m giving it FIVE FORKS based on the good food and the more than competitive spirit prices.



Susan says…

Don’t even get me started on the crap that Ron just wrote.  I will focus on my own honest, objective, culinarily credible review.

We came here because Ron offered up a review of choice to the person who identified the most spelling errors in his post.  LAL won the prize and I was so disappointed that Aubrey’s or Fazio’s or Blossom were not mentioned.  Will Ron invite to go along on a review of a nice, romantic, fine dining establishment?  No!  LAL threw me under the bus – I get dragged to a place with BAR FOOD instead.  Ugh.

Really, it wasn’t that bad.  They had several salads, brick-oven pizzas, sandwiches, burgers and appetizers.  I chose a turkey sandwich with homemade chips – I got to choose the type of bread, the cheese and whatever toppings I desired.  All this and the glow of joy on Ron’s face for $5.95.

I have to agree, also, that the beer was pretty darned cheap.  Ultra pitcher for $6 is a great deal.  And the pitcher and mugs were so frosty it kept my beer really cold even though I don’t drink it nearly as fast as Ron does. 

The sandwich was nicely toasted and I could feel butter on my fingers….yummy.  I liked the generous amount of shredded lettuce, and a nice number of jalapenos.  I also received green peppers and provolone cheese.  The chips were a little disappointing – they tasted like they had been fried much earlier as some of them had lost their crispness.  They needed to be sprinkled with salt immediately after coming out of the oil, too.  Griff’s has the best homemade chips around. 

I tasted Ron’s pizza – was upset that he ruined it with sausage.  The crust was thicker than I prefer but it did have a nice crispness to it and there was a generous amount of cheese covering the generous amount of toppings. 

This place was really busy tonight!  Only two tables were vacant when wea rrived around 6:30.  Service was a bit slow, but not to the point that I was aggravated.  Atmosphere…well, it’s a bar with a lot of tv’s.  Hell, there’s even a tv in the ladies’ room!  had it been on Project Runway, I would have stayed in there longer.   My plate had a big chip out of it and the carpeting on the upper level by the front window felt spongy and sticky.  Eeeeew.  Carpeting is never an acceptable floor covering in a restaurant where they serve beer to drunk people.

The River’s Edge Cafe is good at what it does…THREE FORKS.

River’s Edge Cafe
212 Main Street 
St. Albans, WV  25177
River's Edge Cafe on Urbanspoon

4 responses to “Finally ~ The Cafe’ – River’s Edge Cafe

  1. You guys should have tried the crab stuffed mushrooms. They are awesome! (If you like mushrooms and crab “delights”.) I really like the dipping sauce that comes with the chips too. (Good if you like blue cheese.) And Susan, sorry about throwing you under a bus…..

  2. demosthenes.or.locke

    $6 Pitchers = worthy, even if it is michelob piss-beer. Although Ron has no taste buds, affordable alcohol in the Charleston area is a subject which deserves greater blog coverage, and I commend him for that.

    The food doesn’t look that bad!

  3. Last night….crab-stuffed stuffed mushrooms, Ragin Cajun burger and chips. I blew my healty-eating all to heck this weekend, but it was soooo worth it, especially for those mushrooms.

  4. Yum. If anyone else is into cheap food, Wednesday night is 30-cent wing night! And they were decent wings, too.

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